A journey begins

As I've mentioned before, this year I will complete my master's degree, and intership in a psychology unit in a oncological hospital in my city.
As a matter of fact, I started it a few weeks ago!
I'm really loving every moment of the intership so far. I wake up in the morning excited to go to work because I'm really falling in love with the profession I chose. So far all I've learnt came from books, but let me tell, nothing compares to the joy of actually helping someone, especially if they're going through such a hard battle like cancer. I've met so many wonderfull people in these past few weeks, and they really help me to put my own problems in perspective.
I really love my job, and I'm looking forward to next months to see what the future holds for me.

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Como já referi, este é o meu último ano de mestrado em Psicologia, e com ele viria o tão esperado estágio num hospital oncológico com que tanto sonhei. E a verdade é que comecei o estágio há três semanas!
Estou a adorar cada momento, confesso. Todos os dias acordo animada por ir para o trabalho, e acreditem, nunca me senti assim. Tudo o que nos ensinaram até agora vinha em manuais e artigos, mas a realidade é bem diferente. Apesar da dificuldade, não há nada mais gratificante do que poder ajudar alguém, especialmente quando essa pessoa está a passar por um momento tão difícil como é a vivência do cancro. Já conheci tantas pessoas maravilhosas nas últimas semanas, já saí do gabinete a chorar, mas todas estas experiências têm-me ajudado a pôr os meus próprios problemas em perspectiva e perceber que tenho muitas razões para ser feliz.
Estou a adorar a profissão que escolhi, e estou ansiosa pelos próximos meses e por tudo o que está por vir.

Introducing: Marley

So, I told you guys about the loss of my beloved dog Suri in my last post.
What I did'nt tell you was that my house has now a new guest: Marley.

Some people may think it was a mindless decision to get a new dog so soon after losing Suri, and I agree (in part). But as soon as I heard the vet saying that my baby wasn't going to make it, I knew I had to get a new puppy to fill my heart. It's like those people who cling to their other children when they loose a child; the bad news was that I didn't have any other dogs to give my love to. And I knew, I just knew, I needed another puppy. To heal myself.

Also, we've been thinking of getting a male Yorkie for a long time. My mother was the most interested, since Suri was mine and she knew I would take her wit me once I moved out home. When she held baby Marley, she immediately looked at me and said "this is it!". She had chosen the name a long time ago too.
And that's the story of how, just a few days after my baby's departure, we brought Marley home.

Now, let me tell you, having a puppy is no easy task. Suri was already 10 months old when she was given to me, so training her (and by that I mean, potty training her) was a lot easier. Maybe the fact that she was a lady had something to do with it as well. But Marley... Good Lord, I've never washed so many carpets in my life!
This process can be a little exausting, especially when we were so used to a dog that never peed outside the designated place. Also, a puppy is wild by nature, and most of the times we scold him he just thinks we are playing with him. Right now, his favourite hobby has to be stealing a slipper , passing right in front me as if saying "Look what I can do!", and then sprint around the yard for me to catch him. Oh, and bite. Everything. He. Sees.

Here's Marley, chewing a green marker. Such a nerd, this dog

Does Marley repalce Suri? Of course not. Not even in a million years. But he's such a cute baby, smart and funny. And when he's tired enough, he can be quite cuddly.
It feels good to have a purpose again. And to have someone to give my love to, or it would go to waste.

You'll be in my heart

Hello everyone:

I know its been such a long time since I posted anything here, but he last days of summer were so terrible to me that I couldnt bare to do anything at all, including keeping this blog updated.

August 28th I lost my baby girl. She was the light of my eyes, one of the things I loved the most in this world, and her loss almost broke me. It was all so sudden, so quick, so unbelievably hard, that it took me over a month to be able to tell you about it.

Suri was my Yorkie puppy, a 3 year old cutie that filled my days with joy. Its not because she was mine, but I can tell you that no matter where we went, everyone would turn their heads to compliment my baby girl. But more than that, she knew the way to my heart like no one else, and sometimes she just felt more like a person that like a dog to me. She had such a strong personality, but at the same time she was so loyal and playfull...

Then, this horrible thursday after lunch, we were all home tending to our chores, and suddenly I heard my father screaming out for me. I came downstairs to find my mother trying to CPR my puppy, and then my parents were in the car racing to the veterinary. All in less than a minute.
Suri fell from the stairs she would climb every day, many times a day, and hit her head in the handrail. It was not the fall that killed her, but the traumatic injury on her head.
She kept on going for a few hours, but the vet was honest and told us that she would'nt make it. Even such a small fall was deathly to a 4lbs dog... The damage was too extensive for her to ever be healthy again - and let me tell you, I'm glad she didnt survive only to live with multiple organ and limb damages. It would be too selfish for me to ask that of her.

I've been through many hard moments throughout my life, including cancer and loss of loved ones, but this was by far the hardest thing I've suffered. I held on to my baby as she laid on the vet's table and I sang her Phill Collins's "You'll be in my heart". That song describes exactly what I feel about her, and I didnt knew any other way I could say goodbye.

I wish I could tell you that things were alright after that, but I can't. I cried all the time, every place brought me memories of Suri and her smell still lingered on every corner of our house. Sometimes, as I sit in my desk at my laptop, I look to my right and I swear I can still see her (she would always follow me around and curled up in a pillow next to me; if there was not a pillow around, she would bark to get my attention and I had to get her one). My boyfriend says that its normal that I feel her, because she truely is next to me. She wouldnt leave her momma, her best friend, alone in here. And I swear, I want to believe him so much!

Things are getting better, slowly. Life goes on, and the world doesnt even seems to notice that a big chunk of my heart is gone. I try me best to keep on going, but every pet owner who has lost a dog will know how hard it is...